Back in Dillon
by dramaaddict8807
Summary: This is a future fic that mostly follows Matt. It will have some romance later, I think. I may up the rating later, I just need to see where the story takes me first.
1. Back in Dillon

I don't own Friday Night Lights or its characters… I just wanted to play with them for a little while… This is also my first time writing for FNL, so if I mess up, let me; know if you like it, let me know. I have seen through season 4. There may be some spoilers, but I am also gonna change the story line some too. I will try my best to let the story explain itself but some things will take a chapter or two.

Back in Dillon

Some things never change, and Dillon, Texas was one thing that never would. It was a ghost town, until you hit the west side of it. You could hear the crowd about three miles out from the stadium. It's been a long time since Matt returned. He used to drive in from TMU every chance he got to see his grandma. He hasn't been back since she died. One year, three months, ten days and his whole world has changed. Except for Dillon, maybe that was why he didn't come back. Now that he has graduated, he needed somewhere to go, so when he got to the intersection, he had a choice to make, left would take him to his house and right would take him home. As the light turned green, he hit his turn signal and slid the wheel. When he passed the Alamo Freeze, the "Gone to Game" sign in the window, he was thankful he had made his last ice cream cone. The radio was off; giving him the time he needed to think as he drove down the street.

Matt could tell the Panthers had scored, because after four years he still knew every cheer, and jeer, of the Dillon fans. He found a parking spot way in the back, but was glad he would be able to make a quick escape later. He didn't have a ticket so he pulled the ring out of his glove box. It felt foreign after so long. He walked to the ticket booth and for the first time since his disastrous date with Julie, he played his Panther Pride card.

"Ticket please," came the sighed request of a bored girl.

"Hi. I'm sorry, but I don't have a ticket."

Well we're sold out. You look familiar, do I know you?"

Matt raised his hand to adjust his hat as he said, "Maybe. I used to play here."

The cute blonde flipped her hair as she leaned on the counter and said, "Is that a state ring? I always wanted to see one up close. Can I?"

As she reached for his hand he had a feeling she'd seen her share up close. He pulled away to check his watch and said, "I'd really like to see them play tonight. Could you help me?" She smiled real big at him as she grabbed a ticket, writing something on the back and handing it to him. Matt mumbled a thank you as he turned to walk away. Looking down, he saw "Cindi" and a number, complete with a heart over the "I".

As he made his way through the crowd he threw the ticked out. It was a waste of time anymore. He headed towards the end zone. He didn't want to sit with the fans that would no doubt liter him with questions. He leaned against the fence as the fourth quarter continued. The Panthers were dominating the field as coach sent in the second string. During a time out, Matt surveyed the sea of faces. He left with two minutes to go. He received a few odd looks as he walked out; he knows he broke Dillon law. He loved football and he loved the Panthers, but the fans in Texas were crazy. He was relieved when he went to college; ironically there was a lot less pressure.

He headed toward his old house with an empty road, happy to have beaten the traffic. When he got to the house he realized he hadn't eaten and there wouldn't be food. This meant he would have to face what he had just avoided. He turned around and jumped back in the car. Knowing this town never changed he headed to Applebee's cause it would be the only place open. He also knew the Dillon faithful would be there.

Matt pulled in next to the Taylor's SUV and wondered if coach would ever let it go, knowing Buddy had tried for years to sell him a new one. He sat in the car for a minute, preparing himself to go inside. He knew what it could be like in there but he knew the Taylors would be his allies. Even though he was graduating he was glad when the town made the right choice in keeping Coach for the Panthers. He also took great joy in seeing the McCoy's move out of Dillon. He would have drove them himself he was so happy. JD was playing for Notre Dame this year, until he dislocated his shoulder, when Matt saw that on Sports Center last week, he couldn't help but smile. If it was more serious, like what happened to Jason Street, he wouldn't have felt as vindicated, but he realized JD wasn't a team player and would never have gone for the tackle. When Matt saw Street down at TMU last season, trying to sign his wide receiver, Street promised he'd never sign JD McCoy to his agency. Matt laughed and told him to sign and get him the worst spot in the NFL. Street's agency was doing great and Jason offered Matt a job, but that wasn't what Matt wanted.

He knew inside that there were new stars and he was happy for that, but every time he came back to Dillon it seemed worse. They all watched him and many would come up and ask him questions about his college career and his future plans. Others, like the boosters, wanted to relive the glory days. Matt never liked the politics of football. He just wanted to play. That's probably why he and Coach Taylor got on well. Besides, he figured if you always lived in the past, you'd never get anywhere. Each game is its own, if you lose Friday; Saturday should be about the next game not the night before, use it for improvement and let it go. He was never a natural talent; he was a good player and a hard worker.

Matt climbed out of the car and walked into the packed restaurant. He saw the mayor talking to Buddy in one corner and a couple of boosters at the bar. As he looked around he saw his past and wondered about his future. Since he graduated he had been living in his Austin apartment off of his dad's veteran's benefits looking for work. He wanted to regroup and so he came back to Dillon. He also decided it was probably time to sell the old house. Matt spotted the Taylors and walked over to say hello. He made it through the crowded place fairly quickly by keeping his head down.

"Hello, Coach. Hi, Mrs. Taylor," Matt lost much of his awkwardness with the Taylors, and even lost most of his fear of them since he and Julie split. He would never really stop fearing Coach though. None of Eric Taylor's players ever would, that was a sign of his greatness. They would forever respect him and want to earn his respect. They didn't want to let him down.

"Hello, Matt. I didn't know you were in town."

"Yes, Ma'am. I just got in tonight. Made it for most of the fourth quarter."

"Well, sit and join us, son."

"I don't want to intrude, Coach."

"Nonsense. You are always welcome at our table, you know that."

"Yes, sir," Matt took a seat opposite Mrs. Taylor. "Is that little Gracie? She sure has grown."

"Well, it has been too long since you have been home. How are you, Matt? How long are you in town?"

"I'm good, Ma'am. I don't know how long I'll be here. I am in the process of looking for a job and I am going to be selling the house. Not much need for the old place."

"You are leaving Dillon for good?"

"I don't know, Coach. Nothing left here for me. Some old friends, but all my family is gone. I will probably be back to visit. I have to find a place to go first though."

"Julie was saying the same about finding a good paper after she graduates this year." The reminder of Julie made Matt wince and smile at the same time.

"How does she like Brown?"

"She loves it. There team isn't much, and believe it or not, she actually misses Dillon, especially Friday nights." They had a pleasant conversation throughout the meal with a few interruptions. The talked about how Riggins was turning things around since he was paroled. He stopped drinking and they discovered there was oil in the land he bought with him and his brother's chop shop money. They talked about how well Smash was doing with the Cowboys and how Street got him a great contract. Matt told him how Landry was going to graduate Harvard summa cum laude and rolled his eyes as he said that he and Tyra were going to try dating again. They separated after with promises to get together again soon. Matt headed home to the empty house.

The next day Matt woke and went for a run, a habit he picked up in college. When he got back he threw the ball at the tire for old time's sakes. Then he went for a drive. He head to the edge of town to see Riggins.

"Seven! What the hell are you doing here?" Tim Riggins may have stopped drinking and gotten rich, but he was still Tim Riggins.

"Just thought I'd come see the new and improved Tim Riggins. Or is it Timothy now?"

"You can call me Mr. Riggins. How are you man?"

"I'm good. I thought the whole town had lost it when I was told you were one of the boosters' main contributors. You hate the boosters and school spirit. I know you love football, but you're still Riggs."

"Honestly, man? I just did it to piss off Buddy Garrity. Shoulda seen his face," Riggins said with a smile. He still had his long hair and never wore a suit, but he had matured, and stayed the same all in one.

"That's the Riggins I know."

"Hey, Saracen, we should go out on the town tonight. My treat."

"I thought you quit drinking?"

"I didn't quit completely. I just don't have it in my cereal anymore. I cut back quite a bit."

"What made the great change?"

"Besides prison? I met a girl. Finally got over Lyla. I'm getting married next month."

"Wow, hope you bought some ice skates with all your money, cause I think Hell has frozen over."

"Damn, can you play football on ice?" They went out that night and hit the usual spots. They finally ended up on the field, throwing the ball laughing about the old times.

"What about you, Seven? You ever lose your virginity?"

"Funny. I kinda got a girl back in Austin. She's wild about me, I like her."

"They're wrapped around your finger when it's like that."

"Like you and Lyla? Seriously though, that's not what I'm looking for."

"I told you I was over Lyla. What are you looking for? Julie Taylor?" Matt thought long and hard about that question but didn't answer. They went on to talk about other things.

Lying in bed that night, Matt thought about the last couple days and decided that it is exactly how he thought it would be, being back in Dillon.


	2. Opportunities

Opportunities

Matt woke on Sunday without much to do. He went for his run and showered. He made breakfast from what little he bought the day before. He hadn't gone to church much when he was at TMU. Strange considering it was a Methodist University. Sundays were just usually for sleeping in, but he couldn't sleep today. The house seemed empty without Grandma. He missed her but thought it was for the best. She was so confused toward the end and scared all of the time. She was miserable. She would tell him he should go to church if she was there, so that is what he did. The sermon was good. It was all about God providing for you and helping you find your way. That's what Matt needed. To find his way, figure out what he wanted to do with his life. The NFL was never a prospect for Matt. Even if he had been good enough, he didn't want that. He imagined the politics of the NFL were too much for him. Plus he wasn't one for celebrity, that was Smash and he did it well.

After he grabbed a burger at the Alamo Freeze he went for a walk and found himself at the field house. He went in just to look around. He wandered through the locker room and heard a noise from the offices. As he approached he realized it was game film, and he remembered when he had a tough team on Friday, Coach would spend Sunday in his office. So he headed over.

"Hey, Coach," He said it soft but Coach jumped a little anyways.

"Hey, Saracen, What are you doing here?"

"I had some thinking to do so I went for a walk and ended up here. You only call me Saracen when you're mad at me, or stressed. Should I go run bleachers?"

"Ha, no. You just surprised me. I was looking at some tapes. Big game Friday and I need to figure out a strategy."

"Mind if I watch with you? I have nothing better to do and you could bounce ideas off of me."

"Yeah, have a seat." The watched the tapes for about a couple of hours, talking every once in a while. Matt remembered the last time he and coach were in his office for that long.

"_Saracen!" Matt jumped. He and Julie were standing against the lockers talking and he had just leaned in for a kiss. Coach had impeccable timing. Matt was on edge ever since that fall when they were caught in bed together. All PDA became very awkward around Julie's parents, he was afraid to hold her hand for a while. "Saracen, my office."_

"_Coming, Coach." Matt walked into the office unsure of what he could have done to upset his coach this time. Technically since Matt was a senior and football was over, he wasn't Matt's coach anymore. Matt was gonna graduate in a month._

"_Saracen, I just got a phone call from the coaches over at TMU. Mike Lawrence, their incoming QB out of California tore his ACL and his BCL in a baseball game last week. They need a replacement. They want to see you. Now, they'd only be able to offer financial assistance and you would be third string, but TMU is a great school, and they have a great football program. You would stay in Texas, close enough to your grandmother, I know that is why you turned down Chicago," Coach had a bit of a smile at the last part, Matt knew he knew it was mostly Julie that kept him in Dillon. "It's only a tryout, they are looking at a couple of other guys, but it's a shot. What do you want me to tell them?"_

"_I n-never thought about college ball. D-do you think I have a shot?"_

"_Saracen that is a stupid question. First off, a try out is a shot, and second, I worked damn hard to make you a great quarterback. You gonna pass up this opportunity and waste all my time and effort?"_

"_No, Coach, I'll do it."_

"_Good. Now start believing in yourself and you may just have a shot. I want you to meet me after school and we'll set up a schedule, we have a lot of work to do. Now, get to class," Matt rose to leave when Coach called out. "And Saracen, lets cool it down in the hallways."_

"_Yes, Coach."_

His sophomore year at TMU, after the first string had graduated and he was moved to second string, he was called into the head coach's office. He was told that Tommy Seberg was caught doing steroids and they needed him at first string. He was given a long speech about how he almost didn't get the tryout until Taylor called in a favor he didn't have to someone that he had already burned a bridge with to tell him about this great kid who will work his heart out for the team. Matt was then told that if he would repeat the miracle of his high school career for TMU he might be able to keep his spot. Matt worked hard the next 3 years and earned his spot. Everyone talked about how he didn't want to let his team down; the truth of it was he didn't want to let Coach Taylor down.

"It looks like they have a lot of endurance, Coach. You're going to have to find a way to own the fourth quarter."

"Yeah, any ideas how to do that?"

"You could play five quarters."

"What? So they can be tired and our guys dead on their feet?"

"I mean at practice. Run a 13 man defense for 5 quarters, along with some endurance training. Then we could run the plays like we did my sophomore year the game Voodoo started. We wore 'em down, Coach."

"That just might work, Matt. You did well. You wouldn't want to come to practice, would ya?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

"Alright then."

On Monday Matt had a meeting with the real estate agent in the morning. She went through the house and helped him find the things that needed to be repaired so they could get the best price. He spent the rest of the day working on the house. When he got to practice the team was already warming up. Practice went well and Matt was able to help give some advice to the players and Coach listened to his ideas. Matt felt good about it. The next few days went about the same, the house in the morning and practice in the evenings. Matt was happy to be around football again. Friday morning Matt woke up inspired and did a couple sketches. He loved his art. TMU had a decent art program and he had learned quite a bit. He was so busy with the team and the house repairs he forgot all about job hunting and decided he needed to crack down. He had a few people come and look at the house though.

At the game that night, Matt sat with Mrs. Taylor and Gracie, who seemed to have developed a little crush on him. She didn't want to leave his side and he humored her well. It was a very close game and in the end the Panthers and the Tigers were both exhausted, but the Panthers pulled it out. They had a 30-27 victory. Matt chose not to go out and celebrate after cause he had an early morning meeting with his realtor, plans with Riggins and dinner with the Taylors.

Saturday morning came quickly. Matt found out he had 3 offers on the house and that he may be able to play them against each other to get more than asking price. He and Riggins wasted time playing pool, shuffleboard and then they went mudding in Riggins old pickup. He swore he would never sell it. "It has been a very faithful truck."

"If I remember it would break down on you every other day. And that was 4 years ago. What's your gas mileage on this piece of junk anyways?"

"I get about eight miles to the gallon. But I bought a couple gas stations six months ago so now I make most of that back anyways."

"Who would have thought Riggins would be the true success story?"

"Not my parole officer," Riggins laughed off.

That evening Matt pulled up in front of the Taylor house. The last time he was here, he and Julie had just broken up. It was his sophomore year, they were both back from college on Christmas break. They had taken a break the year before when she felt that he needed to figure out what he wanted. He knew what he wanted; he just couldn't get her to see that. This time she felt that she needed to figure herself out. He felt like that was the excuse for the past 2 years. She was pulling away and he couldn't figure out how to get her to come back. The last time he had seen her was at his grandmother's funeral. She was crying as she leaned in for a hug and said she was so sorry. She told him how much she loved his grandma. She asked if there was anything she could do. He asked if they could talk, she was the only one he could ever really talk to about everything. They talked for about an hour. There were lots of tears from both and before she said goodbye one last time, she leaned up and kissed his cheek, the corner of her mouth brushing the corner of his. He barely got his breath back before he realized she was in her car and on her way. He knew her better than anyone, better than himself. If she would have stayed, she would never had left. He knew she missed him and he definitely missed her.

Matt made his way to the Taylors' door and knocked. When Mrs. Taylor answered he almost expected for her to call out to Julie that he was there. This was another reason he stayed away from Dillon. In his mind Dillon was synonymous with two things, football and Julie Taylor. They were halfway through dinner and talking about football when the offer came.

"Mrs. Taylor, will you please pass me the potatoes?"

"Sure, Matt. Sweetie you have known me for 7 years, you are 22 years old, I think you can call me Tami now," The offer both confused and surprised Matt. This was his old councilor/principal, his ex-girlfriend's mom, and his coach's wife. He wasn't sure if he could think of her any other way.

"Oh, y-yes, Mrs. Tay- I mean Tami."

"So are you boys gonna talk football all night?"

"Sorry, but it is Saturday and Matt Saracen got me the "W" last night."

"Not really. I just gave a few ideas. It was a team effort."

"So, Matt, how are things going with the house?"

"Pretty well, I have had 3 offers. I may be able to make a little money off of it."

"Have you had any developments on the job front?"

"No, sir, not yet. I have been busy with the house and football. I have some applications out there though."

"Well, you know this is Dillon, and Dillon takes care of its football players, especially ones with state rings. Maybe Buddy Garrity will hire you as a car dealer. You have such an outgoing personality."

"Don't tease him, Eric. You have a minor in education and a degree in art, right?"

"No, Ma'am. I had to major in education and minor in art. It was the only way I could do the art program. It was education or business. I chose education."

"I was only teasing you, but I actually know someone who can give you a job, if you are interested."

"What kind of job is it, Coach?"

"Well, I have been a man down all year. My quarterback coach got a head coaching job in Louisiana. How would you like to coach the Panthers? The pays crap but I think you would be great at it. You can think of this past week as your interview."

"Wow. Really? I'd love that. When do I start?"

"Monday morning, and if you don't screw it up, I might let you call me Eric," Coach said with a smile and a teasing wink to his loving wife.


	3. Settling

Settling

Matt woke Sunday knowing he had a phone call to make that was much overdue. He wasn't looking forward to it and knew that feeling was wrong but he couldn't help it. He put it off until after church knowing it would be better if he was fully awake and had plenty of time to discuss his change of plans. So when church got out he decided he should have a full stomach and went to Panther Pizza to get a slice. He knew he was just delaying the inevitable. So when Matt returned home he settled in for the tiring discussion he was about to have. He pulled out his cell phone and knew he would be in trouble for not calling and for dodging calls and ignoring voicemails. He figured she would be mad and break up with him, that is what Julie did; maybe that is why he did it this time, maybe that was what he wanted.

"Matthew? Oh, thank God. I have been so worried. You haven't called and I must have sent you twenty text messages. Are you okay? Where are you?" _Matthew, _he hated when she called him that, but she would never call him Matt.

"I'm fine, Ashley. Sorry I didn't call sooner. I have been busy getting the house ready."

"So you made it to Dillon safely? You had me so worried. I missed you so much."

"I know. I am sorry." He didn't say he missed her because he didn't have the heart to lie or the energy to fake it. Matt and Ashley started dating last winter. She was the cookie cutter cheerleader. She had chased him since his junior year. He put her off for a while, but she was eager and he was lonely. She was pretty and energetic and worshiped his football ability.

"I forgive you. So when are you coming home. I know you let go of your apartment but you can move in with me." She had been dropping hints since before graduation, but this is the first time she came right out and said it.

"That's the thing. I'm not coming back to Austin. I found a job."

"That is so great, Matthew. So where are we going? Dallas? San Antonio? Houston?" Matt didn't miss the "we" but he knew how she felt about small towns. She loved football players but didn't understand football and she wouldn't understand Dillon.

"I got a job as an assistant coach of the Panthers. I'll be staying in Dillon."

"Dillon? Why would we want to be in Dillon? We'll find you a job in the city. I can call Daddy and he'll get you a job at his ad agency." Matt rolled his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I don't want to work for your father. I love football and Dillon is home. I want to coach. I am good at it."

"How would you know? You have never coached. Besides, Dillon is in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to live there."He heard the disgust in his voice when she said Dillon and he knew this wasn't going well.

"I have been helping with the team this week and Coach Taylor said I'd make a great addition to the staff. I'm not asking you to live in Dillon." He hoped she would get the point.

"Coach Taylor? Your high school football coach? Why is it always Coach Taylor this and Coach Taylor that? It was just high school. You played in college, his opinion doesn't matter anymore. Besides why would you want to coach, they don't make any money. I thought you were busy with the house and that's why you didn't call. You were busy playing games?" Matt zoned out about halfway through. He was used to her rants. She had complained about Coach Taylor the last time he was in Austin, because Matt canceled his plans with her to go to dinner with him. She didn't understand how much Coach had done for him and how much his opinion meant to Matt. As far as football goes, Ashley was from Tennessee, so to her high school football was just a stepping stone to College.

"I wasn't playing, I was coaching. I loved it. I have told you before; Coach has done a lot for me. He has always been there for me. He helped me out a lot. I respect him. Look I don't want to argue about this. I have to go. I need to go look at some apartments. I'll call you when I get a chance."

"Matthew, I'm sorry. Please don't hang up mad at me. I love you."

"I'm not mad. I'm just tired and I have a lot to get done."

"Okay. Bye Matthew. I love you." When she says it twice she is searching. He knew when he started seeing Ashley that he was settling for something that didn't remind him of his past. She was the opposite of what he knew; he liked that in the beginning.

"Bye Ashley. I'll call later, okay? I promise. Give me a smile." He knew he was playing her, but it was all he could give her right now, and he knew it would work.

"Okay." Matt hung up and felt the relief. He wanted to end things but that would be hard and he wasn't ready to be alone again. Part of the reason he finally gave in and asked Ashley out was that he just lost his grandma. He and his mom still talked some but he didn't want a full relationship with her. He also didn't want to be alone. When he got back to TMU he was still hurt from the loss of his grandma and his heart ached for what he had with Julie.

Matt got up and went to look for apartments. He didn't find much but continued to look throughout the week around practices. He finally sold the house to a nice couple just trying to start out. He found a place on Wednesday and had plans to move on the weekend. It was a bye this week which meant the town was glum. The team welcomed the break after their brutal battle the week before and was enjoying Thursday's practice where they had a scrimmage against the coaches going. Matt started as wide receiver until Coach Taylor's arm got too tired. Matt had just scored when he saw her walking up. He jogged over, surprised to see her. He didn't know how to handle the situation. She ran up and wrapped her arms around him. When she kissed him he got passed his shock and returned it, she always was good at that.

"Hello, Matthew. I missed you so much."

"Hi, Ashley, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, I'm surprised. Look we're in the middle of practice. Can you wait for a bit?"

"Sure. It's good to see you play again. You're sexy when you play." She gave him a deep kiss that only stopped when the cat calls and whistles from the team broke through the daze. Matt jogged back over and told them to line it up. On his way back to the line, Eric gave him a look that showed a mixture of surprise and confusion.

He laughed as he said, "Friend of yours?"

"Yeah. My girlfriend from Austin, she decided to surprise me."

"Seems nice," came yet another laugh.

After practice was over Matt took his time getting out to the parking lot. He wasn't sure what Ashley was doing here. He was hoping that he would be able to end things slowly, from a distance. He never thought she would show up in Dillon. She hated small towns and often told him such. He could only figure she was here to either break up with him, which wasn't likely, or try to convince him to return to Austin, which he wouldn't. He wishes he had more time to think. If she had told him she was coming he would have had time to work up a plan. She probably knew this, hence the surprise.

"What took you so long, Matthew? I drove all the way from Austin just to see you. You have no idea how hard it was for me to find a gas station when I got to town." Matt couldn't figure that one out, because there is one on the edge of town, she would have passed it within minutes of hitting the city limits.

"Sorry, Ashley, I had some stuff to get done. How long are you here for?"

"Well, as long as it takes to remind you what you left in Austin and get you to come home to me."

"Let's head to the house, you can follow me." He knew she would want him to go back to Austin. Matt was glad he would have a few minutes to think. When they pulled up to the house, he could see the disgusted look on her face in his rear view mirror; he knew it would be worse when she got inside. He wasn't ashamed as he once was, Coach taught him to be proud of himself and where he came from; so he held his head high as he climbed out of his car. He knew she came from money and she had garages twice the size of his house.

"How about you let me shower and then I'll take you out to dinner? It's been awhile since I took you on a proper date." Matt was willing to try anything to push off the conversation. This made her smile, think it was a good start.

When they pulled into Applebee's, Ashley was talking away about the new car her dad bought her mom just because he loved her. Matt figured it probably had more to do with the mistress he was rumored to have slept with. Her dad was a bit of a cliché sometimes. He slept around and drank too much. His wife and daughter just adored him and were forever faithful. They got inside and found a seat. They had just ordered their drinks when Buddy Garrity walked up with his drink in one hand and championship ring on the other as he held it out to Matt. Matt held his up and realized he hadn't taken it off since he got to town. He didn't realize how comfortable it had become, how much he missed wearing it.

"Matt Saracen, I haven't got a chance to talk to you since you got back in town. I can't tell you how happy other boosters are to have you back with the Panthers. I followed you in college, son. You did well for yourself. I remember when you were just the scrawny kid that hit the center in the back of the helmet."

"Hi, Mr. Garrity, I am truly happy to be back. I missed Dillon. I missed the Panthers. I don't have to explain that to you."

"Matthew, it is rude to not introduce me."

"Sorry. Mr. Garrity this is Ashley Anderson. Ashley, Buddy Garrity, head of the boosters and one of the town's most successful business men."

"How do you do, Mr. Garrity? Matthew and I were just discussing his return to Dillon."

"Well, Dillon couldn't be happier to have him back. Matt Saracen and Eric Taylor saved this town in its time of need. They lifted the spirits of us all, and they brought us back a state championship!"

"I wouldn't go that far, Mr. Garrity. I just threw a football, and not that well from what I was often told."

"Well you have a ring don't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well you two enjoy your dinner. I have a meeting with the mayor. I will see you two tomorrow night." As Buddy walked away, Matt could feel the cold, questioning look he was getting from Ashley.

"Now I have to socialize with these people?"

"First of all, I am one of _these people_, and second I have a commitment to the team. It is a team function. It was planned long before you came here. I didn't ask you to come here, and I didn't ask you to go tomorrow night." Matt was growing tired of playing nice. He liked her but he didn't love her and she has been nothing but rude since she got to town.

"Well what about you commitment to me?"

"I don't have a commitment to you."

"That just brings up a whole other discussion. Let's just order our food. This is supposed to be a pleasant date."

As dinner continued in silence Matt played with his ring some more and thought about the last time he had wore it. He took it off after his senior year and gave it to Julie. He told how he knew that he loved her and would want to be with her forever, he gave her the ring and said he was sorry he couldn't afford a promise ring, but that it was the most prized possession he owned. He wanted her to take it until he could get her a diamond. She kept it after they broke up the first time, but handed it back to him that Christmas. He had expected to get it back that night, but as a replacement for the one he had in his pocket. It made the breakup that much more painful. He never got the chance to propose and he was glad she didn't know. He was more than embarrassed the next time he bumped into her parents at the store. Coach patted his shoulder and said that he wanted Tami to be surprised so he hadn't told her, it would stay between them and that he was truly sorry for how things worked out. Then they never talked about it again. He threw the ring in his glove box that night and it stayed there since.

Matt and Ashley found a buffer in packing up the house. She chose to stay home the next night and Matt thought it was probably for the best. The spent the weekend packing and moving him to his apartment, the price he paid for her help being that he had to listen to her argue her side of returning to Austin. He learned that she planned to stay until he decided to go with her. He doubted she would last that long. He was finally settled in; he only had a little unpacking left to do. He wondered what he should do about Ashley, he cared about her, but he felt he was being unfair to her, he felt like with her he was only settling for second best.


	4. Trouble

Trouble

Matt had been in his new apartment for almost two weeks now. Ashley stuck around and hated every minute of it. She complained every night that he worked too much and she was bored, because there was nothing to do in Dillon. She went to the game last week but refused to go to dinner after. She still refused to socialize. She finally met the Taylors and was polite, but she declined every dinner invitation after that. She said she didn't need friends because they wouldn't be staying in Dillon. She began asking him when he was going to do something to move their relationship forward. He didn't have to ask, he already knew she wanted a ring. He didn't want to give her one.

Matt came home after practice on Wednesday. It had been a long, hot day and he was tired from the sun. When he walked into the apartment he saw Ashley in her usual position on the couch, only today she had one of the few unpacked boxes set by her feet. It was open and his yearbook was on the coffee table in front of her, his old sketch book under it. He wasn't sure what had happened but he knew she wasn't happy. He walked in and set his bag on the counter. Then, like he did every day, he walked to her leaned in kissed her forehead and said he was going to take a shower. He stayed in longer than usual because the water cool water felt good on his hot skin; it relaxed him as it rolled down his back. He knew he was trying to hold on to those last moments of peace. When Matt climbed out and redressed she was still in the same spot, only her wine was refilled.

"How was your day?"

"Well, Matthew, my day was pretty good. I found this box full of pictures of you when you were younger, some awards, some of your artwork. Your yearbook," she pointed at it lying open on the table. She spoke in a calm voice as he looked at the item in question. "I was having fun, looking in a part of your life that you never let me see. Then I found some of your old art. I found a drawing you did of a girl, one I'd seen before. I remember asking you once who she was; you told me it was just a girl that was in your head. I thought you meant like some of your other pieces get stuck until you get them out on paper. I let it go thinking it was just one of those things artist do; draw the same people more than once. Then I found this year book; this page. 'Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor, Cutest Couple' Seems to me she is more than just a girl in your head." She had his sketch book in her hands now, open to the picture Carlotta once asked him about.

"What are you saying, Ashley?"

"I am saying Matthew, that you have been drawing this girl, your ex-girlfriend, for years, which is fine except you were drawing her during our entire relationship! Who is she? Taylor, that is that coach's name right? Is that why you are so hung up on him?"

"Calm down. Yeah, Julie is my ex; we were together for a long time. She is Coach's daughter. We were very serious, I told you about my history with her."

"Not all of it apparently! Is that why you want so badly to stay here in Dillon? Her parents still live here, so she will come back. Is that why you are so close with her parents?"

"No. I want to stay in Dillon because it is my home. I am close with her family because of football and they have done a lot for me. Some of that had to do with my relationship with her, but I care about them and they care about me, whether Julie and I are together or not. They say when two people break up; you break up with their family too. We didn't want that. My staying in Dillon has nothing to do with Julie Taylor."

"I don't believe you. Is she the reason you won't commit to me?"

"Ashley, we have only been together for 10 months, I was with Julie for 5 years before I-"Matt stopped, he knew he said the wrong thing.

"Before you what?! Did you ask her to marry you?"

"No. I never asked her."

"But you were going to. That is why you won't commit?"

"Ashley, I care about you, I do. I'm just not sure I love you. I am sorry. I don't want t hurt you. You and I want different things. I love Dillon and I am happy being a coach. You want me to be a guy wearing a suit in the city. I don't want that. I loved Julie passionately; I don't feel that way about you. I tried. I did. I care about you deeply, but I know I could never commit to you because that is all I feel. I wanted to love you. I am sorry."

Ashley was crying at this point, the silent tears, the worst tears. Matt tried to hug her, but she pulled away. Eventually she went to the bed room to pack her things. He thought it would be easier for her if he left. He wrote a note telling her she should stay for the night, he didn't want her driving upset or in the dark. He said sorry one last time and then walked out the door.

He drove for a while unsure where to go. That's when he ended up in front of the Taylors'. He felt bad about dropping by unannounced but he couldn't burn any more gas. He knocked on the door and could hear Gracie running inside. He heard her get closer and when the door opens she lit up.

"Mommy, Matt's here!!!" She squealed and giggled with excitement as she pulled him inside by his hand.

"Coach, Mrs. Taylor, Sorry to just drop by," he felt almost nervous again.

"It's okay, Matt. You know you're always welcome. What's going on?"

"Not much, I-I'm sorry to have interrupted your evening. I'll go." The Taylors had known Matt a long time and they knew he needed to talk.

Tami looked at Eric as she said, "Gracie Bell, how about we go to your room and pick out a book for Daddy to read to you later."

"But I wanna stay with Matt," she whined as she looked up at the young man with awe.

"Gracie, don't argue with your mother. Go pick a book and I'll read it later, if you are good I may even do the voices. Okay, Pumpkin?"

"Okay, Daddy," Gracie hopped on the couch kissed his cheek and just as quickly hopped down and took off down the hall.

"You sure have an effect on Taylor women; I'm going to have to keep you away from my wife." Matt half smiled, but couldn't bring himself to really laugh after the night's earlier events. "Have a seat, son. Tell me what's on your mind."

Matt sat in the chair and rubbed his hands together, "Nothing really. Well, sort of. I needed a place to be for awhile. Ashley needed time to pack her things." Eric raised his eyebrows, but if he had something to say, he didn't say it. "She was unpacking today and came across some of my stuff from high school; some art and pictures. See a couple months ago, she saw me drawing a picture and asked me who it was and I told it was a girl I couldn't get out of my head. I knew she wouldn't think anything of it. Today she found an old picture I had drawn, then my yearbook. She was pretty upset."Coach just nodded along. He had suspected this might be about Julie, but he needed to hear more, Matt needed to say more.

"She's been asking for a commitment for a while now. I tried to love her, I did. I just couldn't. The truth is, sir, I gave my heart away a long time ago, and I never really got it back. Never wanted it back; still don't."

"Julie," it was neither a question nor a statement. Matt could only nod. "Well, love's a tough thing, Matt."

"She found the ring; once. I lied, told her it was Grandma's. I felt bad about it, but it gave me an excuse not to get rid of it. After she found it was when she really started asking for more out of our relationship. We just want different things. She was so sure Julie was the reason I stayed in Dillon. It isn't, but now that she said it a part of me wonders if it's true."

"I think you stayed because it fit you. As far as Julie goes, I don't know what to tell you. Tami and I were disappointed to see you two split. I still don't know why you did. I know it must have been on Julie's side because you had other plans."

"I know it sounds crazy because it was almost 3 years ago, but I know she's the only one for me. She wanted time to figure herself out. When I saw her at the funeral, I hoped, you know. It was all so easy, talking to her again. I need to let it go, and maybe someday I will. Anyways, thanks for listening."

"That's no problem, Matt."

Matt stood as he said, "Well, Ashley should be asleep by now. I should head back, crash on the couch. You'll tell the girls I said good night?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Tell your wife, I'm single again. She has my number," Matt said with a smile as he stepped through the door.

He headed home feeling a little better. He still felt terrible for hurting Ashley. He really did care for her. He slipped quietly into the apartment and sat on the couch. After he kicked his shoes off, he lay down. When he looked over the yearbook was staring back at him. He and Julie were so happy then, they had their whole lives ahead of them. He closed his eyes and tried to think of a way to get over her. A battle he has been fighting for years now. He feared he'd never be able to do it. He was in trouble of never loving again.


	5. Nerves

A/N: First off, I think I set myself up to let you all down. I was cranking those first few chapters out. My computer was being difficult but has now been replaced. My Apologies. I am happy to say I am Back in Dillon! – Too Corny? Sorry. I think I may slow my pace just a little, though. Also, if there's anything in particular you want to see, a scene between 2 characters (any two) or whatever, let me know. I'll do my best, so long as it doesn't interrupt the story line I have now.

BTMERRIMAN: Let me start by thanking you. Your encouragement has meant a lot. I appreciate it. I agree there are way too many Tulie fans for just an episode or two of the idea that proved to come of nothing. Even Coach Taylor said, "Matt Saracen is a good kid. At least she isn't interested in a serial killer or God forbid one of the Riggins." Funny. I don't know how well I'd be able to write M. I may test it out IF the time comes. ;) Like it wouldn't get there… shh, don't give it away.

On with the story already, I myself hate having to read a bunch of crap first.

Nerves

Matt jolted awake as Three Days Grace told him it was never too late. He sat up and read the clock as he reached for his cell phone. _04:37 _It may not be too late, but it was much too early for him.

"Hello?"

"Matt Saracen?"

"Yeah? Who is this?"

"Mr. Saracen, my name is Michelle. I am a nurse at Dillon Medical. We have a Tommy Jackson here. He asked us to call you." Matt bolted up.

"Is he okay? What happened?"

"He is fine. He had a little incident with a car door. He said his parents are out of town, and let's just say, he is unfit to drive right now."

"I'm on my way." Matt debated calling Coach, but decided it could wait a few hours until he actually knew something; no sense in both of them being up that early. He threw on some clothes, grabbed his keys and was out the door.

It had been two weeks since the Ashley left, and Matt still hadn't shaken that feeling of relief mixed with guilt. She called him a few days ago and told him that she would be able to forgive him and hoped he would find happiness. It made the feelings of guilt rise up once again, because had to admit she was a nice girl. She had lived a sheltered life, but she just wanted the same thing he did, to be loved back. He had busied himself, once again, with the team. They had been doing really well, but they had Gatling Friday night and would need a strong passing game against the tough Eagles' defense. This was the thought running through Matt's head as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. It was 5:15 when he walked through the emergency room doors; he made good time with the empty roads. He looked around a bit at the empty waiting room before spotting the person he was searching for.

"Tommy, what happened?" He took in the disheveled appearance of his starting quarterback, and didn't like what he saw. The boy had stains on his shirt, which he could only guess was puke. He reeked of beer and it appeared as though he was still drunk. It was as he stood up and moved his jacket to his other arm that Matt saw it; the lime green cast stood out in contrast to the boy's blue Panther's football shirt.

"Hey, Coach! I am so glad you came. I was getting really bored. I hope you don't mind I had 'em call you. I knew you'd go easier than Coach Taylor. You're young; you get it, man," the boy slurred heavily and Matt wasn't sure how much longer he would be upright by the way he was swaying. "I had a little problem, Coach. My car slammed the door on my hand. The doc said I wouldn't be playin' football for a while. He was such a downer. I told him I'd be ready to play next week. He kept insisting."

"I may be younger than Coach Taylor, but that doesn't make me easy or stupid. Sit down, sit down! I am going to go talk to your doctor, and then we are going to go for a ride," Matt was so mad he needed time to think. A couple of the guys had tried to play him before, because he was young and new and cool. As he went to find the doctor, he tried to think of what Coach would do in this situation.

Matt learned Tommy would be out for at least 6 weeks, and then it was unclear, depending on how he healed, whether he would grip the ball the same ever again. Tommy had more natural ability than Matt had been blessed with, he was no Jason Street, but he could throw a ball. He just didn't work at it hard enough, didn't care to want it. He often frustrated Matt in practice with his antics, but when they could get him to work, the whole team fell in to place. If he wanted it, he could be golden.

"Jackson! Let's go!" They had been on the road for five minutes before Matt was calm enough to ask, "What were you doing drinking on a Wednesday night anyways? You do know we have Gatling this weekend; your team was counting on you. You let them down."

"I know, Coach. Look, I was bored so I had a few. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? You do realize you won't be playing football for the rest of the season, right? You're a senior, Jackson. That means your high school career is over, which kills any shot you had of playing in college." Matt was pretty sure the kid didn't give two licks that his football days were over, for him it was just something to kill the time. "How did your hand end up in the car door?"

"I was out of beer, and I realized my dad would be mad that I stole his. I needed to buy more to replace it before he found out."

"You were driving drunk?"

"No. I slammed my hand in the door; I just said that."

"Listen, I don't like your attitude. You were planning to drive after you were drinking? How stupid are you? We're going to my apartment. You are going to clean yourself up. Then we are going to school and you are going to sit in Coach's office and tell him what happened."

"Come on, Coach. That's why I called you. Besides, I can't go to school, I'm hung-over."

"I wasn't done. Do not interrupt me again. You will tell Coach Taylor what happened and then you will explain to your team mates how you screwed up. You let them down. You may have just ruined the rest of the season for them."

Matt had given Tommy hell all the way to the school. He had called Eric at 7 to tell him they had a situation to discuss that needed addressing right away. If the boy thought Coach Saracen had been hard on him, it was nothing compared to the wrath of Coach Taylor, he was livid to say the least. They called an early meeting and told the team they had a lot of work to do in just 2 days time. If they couldn't beat Gatling, they wouldn't make it to the playoffs. It was decided that during his lunch and free period, Joe Tomlin would be meeting with Matt and Eric to prepare him for the game. The junior had little more experience than Matt had when he was thrust into the role of QB1. He had taken a few snaps when the team was so far ahead that second string was sent out. They had a lot of work to do. The boy had potential; he was very low in self-confidence.

"Look, Tomlin, I know exactly how you're feeling. You aren't sure you can do this, and you are scared to death because there is a lot riding on this game, a lot of pressure. I've been there," Matt tried to reassure the boy after practice that night.

"What did you do?"

"I had to find away to shake everything and play my best. I had a lot of distractions and the pressures, when I thought about them, made me play terrible and that just added more pressure and doubt in my abilities. The town doubted me, the team doubted me, and I doubted me."

"But you won a state ring."

"All those people doubted me, but Coach Taylor didn't, and if he did, he never let me know it. If I doubted myself, he would yell some sense into me. He told me there was no time for that nonsense. The team needed me and I needed to get over it and play some football. When I believed in myself, my team believed in me. We won some games and the town believed me. You can do this, Tomlin. I believe that, now you need to believe it. You know the plays, better than I did when I came up. You have the arm, we will push you, but we will not ask you to do something we know you can't do. Coach Taylor has been doing this a long time, trust him. I trusted him, and he trusted me and we did what everyone thought would be impossible without Jason Street. This team does not completely rely on Tommy Jackson. You believe in yourself, they will believe in you. They will get behind you. If Coach or I ask you to do something you don't think you can do, don't take time to question yourself, and never question Coach. We tell you to do something, just get it done. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything."

"I'll try, Coach," the kid still sounded unsure.

"Listen, I never thought I would take a snap before Streets accident. I thought for sure I would lead the team, believed to be the best in Texas, straight to a losing season. My team and I worked hard and we got there together. College ball was never even a thought, Coach got me at TMU. I was third string. Not only did I finish a season. I stayed at first string through hard work. I had Coach behind me the whole time, telling me not to let him down, so I didn't. You can do this."

"Okay, Coach."

"Go home, get some sleep. We have an early practice tomorrow. I want you here half an hour before everyone else, ready to go. Okay?"

"Yeah, Coach." Joe seemed surer than before as he rose and left the locker room.

"He's right you know. You listen to him. He'll get you there." The boy nodded as he passed Coach Taylor. Eric had heard the conversation on his way to his office and decided to stop and listen for a second. He was proud of the way Matt handled the situation. Matt had become a strong, confident player, man and now coach. He turned the corner and found Matt looking over a clipboard of practice notes. He looked up when Eric entered and stood to follow him into his office.

"I think Tomlin can do it. We'll have to work at it. Defense will have to shut down their running game," Matt stated as he sat in the chair opposite the desk.

"I agree. That kid was pretty tense though. He will have to calm down. Lose some of those nerves," Coach leaned back with his arms behind his head. He scratched he head and tossed his hat on his desk as he asked, "Any ideas?"

"You could always tell him to get a girl in the back seat of a car," Matt's quick reply came with a smile. "But if he goes for Gracie Bell, I'll tackle him myself, Gatling won't get their chance." Eric shook his head and laughed.

"The worst advice I've ever given a player. I thought it was good, until I saw you talking to my daughter."

"I'll admit, when you were telling me I was scared to death and torn between what you would do if I followed it and what you would do if I didn't do what you said. I think it was the best advice I have ever been given, the take her out part." They both had a short laugh.

"While it is funny now, I found no humor when you showed up in your Members Only jacket," he said half serious. Matt shook his head at the memory. "You always treated her with respect, which is all I could ask." Neither wanted to bring up the time he had told Matt as much, they'd never joke about that. Julie had once a year or so after it happened. Matt didn't dare laugh. He received a death glare from Eric and knew that he would never find humor in walking in on his little girl in such a position.

They went on to talk about the upcoming game for a few hours. It was late when Matt walked into his apartment. He had a message on the machine, and pressed it as he opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. It was his mother asking him if he would be coming to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving next week. Their relationship was strained after his grandma died. He would talk to her on occasion but he didn't want to meet her new husband and was pretty sure the guy didn't want to meet him either. Matt had been invited to the Taylors and planned looked forward to watching the game with Eric. Julie wasn't coming home, and he wasn't sure if he found that a positive or a negative.

Next week was homecoming; they planned it with Thanksgiving hoping more people would be able to make it in. As Matt sat down to check his email he thought about what he would say at the pep rally. He had been asked, as a former state champ and new Dillon coach, to say a few words. He opened an email from Smash saying he would be there and Matt felt relieved that he would once again be around to soak in all the attention. Landry and Tyra were going to be in town as well, and Matt still wasn't sure how Landry had convince her to return to Dillon, let alone for a football filled weekend.

Friday was filled with preparation for the game. The whole town was on edge. Matt was nervous. He felt as though his abilities as a coach relied on this game. He was nervous, he stayed confident in front of his quarterback, but when the team left the locker room he remained behind. He ran to a stall and threw up. He had never been this nervous before a game as a player.

Fourth quarter came slow. It had been a long, hard game. They were down 27-20 with 2 minutes to go. Tomlin had a rough start but seemed to get so caught up in playing, he forgot the pressure. It was 4th down and 6 yards to go. They were on the 30 yard line. It looked impossible; it would have to be an incredible pass. Matt held his breath at the snap. His heart pounded as he saw the defenders headed toward Tomlin. He was in trouble. There was a scramble. He beat a tackle then another. The fullback got ahead of him, he blocked the tackle. There was open field. Tomlin sprinted across the goal line and Matt was frozen. He snapped to as he realized what had just happened. It seemed to be a miracle.

"What do you think, Matt?"

"Go for it. He can do it. Let's go for it!"

"You heard him, Tomlin. Get me my win."

Eric shook Matt's hand and patted his shoulder as the crowd rushed the field. Matt sat down on the bench as the fans passed by him. He was still in shock. The Panthers were one win from the playoffs. He felt such a rush as he finally felt like a coach for the first time. He helped Tomlin get ready, he made a decision, and he got the win. It was exhilarating.


	6. Coming Home

A little longer for making you wait. I also have a little present in there....

Coming Home

Homecoming week was in full swing and Matt was well worn out. It was only Tuesday, but his weekend was packed with events. After the victory party on Saturday he had little energy left. He never realized when he was playing that the boosters partied harder than the players. He had a long week ahead of him still. It would be filled with dinners and parties and pep rallies. He knew the team had a lot of commitments and pressure, but he never knew that the coaches are pushed just as hard. He had been given advice for Friday's game from the mayor, boosters, and even some of the Red Hat ladies at the church dinner on Sunday night. He took some relief in the fact that Landry and Tyra would be coming in tonight. They had dinner plans with Riggins and his wife-to-be.

"Hello?"He answered his phone while setting up cones for practice.

"Hey, Matty," he could almost see the smile on Smash's face.

"Who is this?"

"So that's how it is, huh? I see, I see. You know you miss the Smash."

"Smash? Smash? Oh, the poor, cocky has-been I played with in high school. Now I'm remembering," Matt smiled.

"That's cold, Matty," Smash laughed. "Is the whole town asking for me yet?"

"I don't think they remember who you are. Unless you are Brian Williams, number 20, for the 2006 Texas State Champion Panthers. You better leave the Super Bowl ring at home; the town will feel betrayed if you don't wear the state ring."

"Well I won't be in until late on Thursday. You can watch me on TV though and wish you were me."

"You know it is the other way around. I remember how you used to follow me around looking for advice. 'Matty, I want a job.' 'Matty, Waverly won't take me serious; teach me how to be a boyfriend.'"

"You are in some mood. That time of the month?"

"Something like that. There is a lot of pressure. Mrs. Braxton pinched my butt last night while telling me to run the spread this weekend."

"Way to go, Matty. I didn't know you were into cougars," Smash laughed.

"More like dinosaur, she is in her early 70s, at least."

"Ha, Ha. Well you know the Smash will be there to take all the ladies attention."

"I think I already have Mrs. Braxton's heart."

"Oh have no fear, she is all yours man."

"Thanks, Smash, I can always count on you when it comes to the ladies. Street coming in with you?"

"Naw, Street is staying here. You know he hates how they talk of him like he is dead. His career was cut short, not his life. He is really successful and happy, but they all talk about him like he lost everything and never recovered."

"Yeah. I get that. Well, practice is starting. I'll see you this weekend, Smash."

"You know you'll be looking for me, Matty," Smash's cocky grin carried through the phone.

That night, Matt was getting ready to go out for dinner and drinks, and wished Ashley was there. Even if their relationship wasn't perfect, at least when they were together he was never the fifth wheel.

He pulled up to the restaurant at the same time as Landry and Tyra. He and Landry shook hands and laughed, he gave Tyra a hug and she made a joke about how he would never get laid driving a hybrid.

"I knew you would come back for me," the smooth voice came from behind them. They turned to see Riggins approaching with a red head on his arm.

"Screw you, Tim. We both know it was always you knocking on my door," Tyra said as she leaned in for a hug and kissed his cheek. "I hear you have money now. Where's the beer truck that you have follow you every where?"

"Funny, Tyra. I don't drink any more. Don't need to now that I got you out of my life," there was no malice in Tim's voice, but the group got quiet anyways.

"Okay, okay. You guys done? Great. Are you going to introduce us to your friend?"

"Tyra, Landry, you know Matt, this is my fiancée, Kelly."

"Nice to finally meet you. Tim has told me a lot about you."

"I'm not as bad as he says," Tyra says with a smile.

"He has only told me good things."

Dinner was pleasant and filled with laughs. They caught up on the changes in their lives and the lack of changes in Dillon. They joked about old times and the crazy things Riggins had done while drunk. When they finally got their dessert, they started talking about homecoming and Thanksgiving.

"So, Matt, are you and Julie gonna hook up again. You usually do whenever one of you comes back to town," Tyra asked. Matt took a moment to respond.

"Actually, Julie isn't coming home. She has some big event coming up that she is in charge of or something. And we don't hook up every time. Besides, you're one to talk. How many times have you and Landry split, just to get back together." Tyra looked surprised, started to comment and then thought better of it.

Matt left a little after that, declining the invite for karaoke at the bar down the street. He was tired of being the fifth wheel and he had an early day tomorrow. Wednesday morning practice went well and the team looked ready for Friday's game. If they won they would be going to the playoffs. The opposing team was one of the worst in Texas, but they refused to let the guys get lazy or over confident.

Thanksgiving Day was sunny and the weather was cool but not cold. Matt was feeling good as he woke for the day. He went for a short run and then jumped in the shower. After he had dressed, he decided he should probably call his mother. Their conversation was short, but less strained than usual. He was about to walk out the door when he realized he'd forgotten the bottle of wine he'd bought the day before.

Matt was running a little late to the Taylors' but he knew they wouldn't be eating for at least another hour. He pulled the car in behind Coach's and put it in park. He grabbed the wine and the book of children's art he brought for Gracie and headed for the door. He rang the bell and heard laughter as the door swung open.

"Julie." Matt was frozen. Many thoughts ran through his head before he landed on one, "What are you doing here?" Matt regretted it as soon as it left his mouth. There were a million things he could have said besides that.

"Hi, Matt. My family lives here, and since Thanksgiving is usually a family deal," she let the rest of the sentence hang in the air. They were both tense.

"Sorry, I just meant, I thought, well Coach said you weren't coming to town." She looked beautiful; Matt couldn't deny that.

"I decided to surprise them." She nodded a little and shifted her feet. "You should come in. Kickoff is in like 10 minutes."

"Yeah," he followed her in. When he walked in to the living room, he saw Coach in his chair with Gracie in his lap watching the pregame. When he turned towards the table he saw Tami talking with someone. He didn't have time to think further though because he was plowed into with a squeal.

"Matt! Guess what! I lost my tooth! See!" He looked down at Gracie and smiled.

"That's great, Graceful. I brought you something," Matt knelt. He had started calling her Graceful after she tripped over a cone and knocked all the water bottles over at practice. He gave her the book and said, "One of my teachers has a picture in there. Think you can guess which one?" She took off with the book to pour over the pages. As he stood he avoided looking at Julie, but he couldn't resist and caught her eye. She was looking at him in shock over the exchange. Their gaze was soon broken, as Matt looked down.

"Julie, baby, your mom was just telling me the funniest story about your rebellious days." Matt was reminded of the other person in the room, and felt as though he was sucker punched.

"Sorry, Matt this is Jeff. Jeff, this is Matt. He is one of my dad's coaches." The introduction stung, he wasn't her ex or a friend; he was just some guy that works with her dad.

"Oh, hi. It's nice to meet you," Jeff approached with his hand out. Matt shifted the bottle to his other hand and shook it.

"Yeah." He couldn't muster much more. It _wasn't_ nice to meet Jeff. He turned then to Tami, "Tami, I brought you some wine. I think it is the right vintage." He handed the bottle over, wishing he had gone with the scotch instead.

"Thanks, Matt. I'll just let this breathe. Do you want something to drink?"

"What's coach having," he asked, praying it was something strong. Tami handed him a beer and he decided it would have to do.

"Kickoff in 5, Saracen," Eric said from his seat. Matt walked in and sat on the couch. "Smash said he had a half time surprise for me. What could that mean?"

"I don't know. He said something similar when we talked the other day. He'll be in this weekend."

"You like football, Jeff?" Coach said, barely turning to look at the kid. He was tall, well built. He had jet black hair and a wide smile. He walked over and joined them.

"I don't know much about it. We were a baseball family. I never really watched a game until I met Julie."

"You've been watching football, Jules? Looks like you are my daughter after all. I thought you hated football." Eric said with a smile.

"We haven't watched this year, been busy I guess. We used to watch a lot last year," Jeff was more than willing to share. He would do anything to make Julie's dad like him. "She always wanted to watch the same team. She told me she liked to watch them because they were popular where she was from and that her dad coached for them for a little while. What was that college, Julie? A Baptist college or something." Julie blushed and turned away, she could feel three sets of eyes on her, but Matt's burned the most.

"Methodist, TMU, Texas Methodist University," Matt said, never taking his eyes from Julie. She had been watching him play after they broke up. He wasn't sure what that meant for him.

"That's it. She never missed their games. I think she knew someone that played for them too." Jeff went on oblivious of what that implied. Tami took pity on Julie and changed the topic.

"So Jeff, what are you going to school for?"

"I'm pre-law."

They turned to watch the game after that; Matt and Eric would talk about football, Jeff, Julie and Tami having their own conversations. When half time came, they had player interviews asking what the players were thankful for, Smash's smiling face popped on screen.

"I'm thankful to God for the talent he gave me. I am thankful to my mama for making sure I got where I did. I am also thankful to Coach Eric Taylor; he was my high school coach. He never let me get too cocky and when I blew out my knee, he worked with me. He never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. I am also thankful to my high school QB, Matt Saracen. Matty showed me that with hard work you can achieve anything. He is a good guy. He taught me how to be a team player. We had our blows but we're good friends. I also wanted to cheer on my Dillon Panthers, who have their homecoming game tomorrow night. They are going for the playoffs. Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!"

"Well, that was so sweet of Smash," Tami said.

"It'll definitely get the team pumped," Coach said.

"Dinners ready. Gracie, dinner," Tami called out and Gracie came running in with her book.

"Matt, is it this one? Did I find it?"

"That's the one, how did you know?"

"I guessed," She said with a huge smile on her face. Matt chuckled.

Dinner was excellent. Despite the surprise guests there was plenty to go around. Conversation bounced form subject to subject. They tried to stay away from football, considering Jeff knew nothing about it and Julie didn't like to talk about it. However, it was still the Taylor house, so it did find its way there eventually.

"So you used to play for Mr. Taylor?" Jeff asked Matt. Matt tried not to be rude, but he felt very awkward talking to Julie's boyfriend. He found it weird that Jeff didn't find it more so.

"Yeah. I played for the Panthers. Then he got me a college tryout, and I played for a couple years there too."

"Where did you go?" Matt felt all eyes on him, when Jeff asked.

"TMU. I graduated last year." Jeff turned his look to Julie slightly puzzled, but he didn't say anything. Matt wanted the subject changed fast. "Tami, this is excellent stuffing. This was your grandmother's recipe if I remember, right?"

"Thank you, Matt. Yes it is."

"Tami, that is a long way from 'Mrs. Coach'," Julie tried to make it sound light, but she was still mad at Matt for the awkwardness, though she knew it wasn't his fault. She also blamed him for being there, and for being so close with her family. Her sister was more excited when Matt came than when she did. She didn't want to admit that it also had something to do with the way her heart leapt when she opened the door and how her breath caught every time he heard his voice. She missed him.

"Yeah, well, a lot has changed. I was scared to death of your parents back then." Matt heard the tone and it stung. He knew she was mad at him, but he was doing everything in his power to make this less awkward. She broke up with him, not the other way around. He knew she resented his being there, but if he knew she was coming home, he would have declined the invitation.

"I don't know why, they aren't the least bit scary. My dad is as soft as a plush pillow."

"That's what you told me every time you convinced me to stand up to him. You would smile and charm me and then I would try and he would get mad and ride me harder. He's only wrapped around your finger."

"I'm not wrapped around her finger. Well, maybe a little, but you should have been afraid of me. Not only were you one of my players, but you had the added disadvantage of being her first boyfriend."

"So you two used to date in high school?" Jeff sounded a little tense when he said this. Matt understood then that it hadn't been awkward for him, because he didn't know.

"Yeah we were together off and on for about 5 years." Matt said, a little smug at now making Jeff uncomfortable.

"Oh, so you're him. The guy I helped her get over," Jeff replied tersely.

"Yeah, I'm him. How long have you guys been together anyways?" Matt said casually as he took another bite, as though it didn't faze him.

"A year and a half, that's in a row. She doesn't feel the need for a break from me, like she did with guys from her past." Eric and Tami watch the exchange, not knowing how to break in before it went too far. Julie was stuck; she needed to stop it but didn't know what to say.

"Huh? She didn't mention it when I saw her last year. That was, what, about six or seven months into your relationship. You would think she would have brought it up, when we stayed up all night together."

"Stop it! Matt! Just stop. Why don't you just go home? You're making this hard."

"I'm sorry, Julie. Coach, Tami, I'm sorry for interrupting your meal. This has been hard. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, Matt left. He was hurt. His heart was pounding. Seeing her again was like coming hom. He knew he still loved her and he knew he missed her. His heart has been broken for a while, but seeing her with another guy crushed him. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Smash, Riggins, and Landry. He headed for the liquor store and then toward the field.


	7. Smashed

A/N: I would like to issue an apology to those kind enough to stick with me. I know that it has been a long time since I updated, but what's 5 months between friends? Someone very dear to me, like a sister really, was in an accident and I returned home to help take care of her kids while she healed and rehabilitated… so I am sorry. I am just so thankful that she survived.

So here is more.

**Smashed**

It didn't take long for Matt to make it to field from the Taylor's home. He was glad that the guys would take a little longer; it would give him time to think. He couldn't believe he just caused such a seen in front of the closest thing to family he had. It was just too painful to see her with another guy. He hadn't expected to see her at all and he had no time to recover before he was forced to hold a conversation with her new boyfriend. No, not new. They had been together for over a year. Why hadn't she said anything? He had talked to the Taylors about Julie a few times and they never mentioned anything. Were they trying to spare his feelings? They wouldn't do that; they would know it would be harder if she just showed up in town with a guy on her arm. Clearly it was. So did they not know? Or maybe they didn't think the relationship was that serious? And what about Tyra? He knows they still talk from time to time, and she would know right? Surely she wouldn't have made the joke of them getting back together if she knew there was another guy in Julie's life.

By the time Riggins and Landry pulled up Matt was half way through his six pack, plus the beer and wine from the Taylors that he didn't notice that Riggins and Landry had pulled up until Riggins swiped his beer and took a swig.

"So, Seven, what is so important you are dragging us out here on Thanksgiving?"

"Julie's back in town," Matt delivered with no emotion. Riggins and Landry weren't sure what to say, clearly it didn't go well. They didn't have to reply as Matt opened another beer and said, "She came in to surprise her parents and to introduce them to _Jeff_." He nearly spat the name.

"Who's Jeff?"

"Nobody, he is just her boyfriend of a year and a half. The one she couldn't bother to tell me about when she saw me last year. When we sat and talked all night after I buried my grandma and hoped she was ready to get back together."

"Okay, you need a shot." Riggins ran to his truck and pulled out his "Emergency Kit" fully equipped with a bottle of Jack Daniels. When he handed it over, Matt drank straight from the bottle and it was definitely more than a shot. "So you had to meet this guy. And knowing the good boy you are, you stayed and sat across from him the whole meal and didn't say anything cause Coach and his wife were there."

"Actually we talked a lot. She hadn't told him I was her ex. And then was going on and on about how he helped her get over me and how she didn't take breaks from them. But she would watch me play the entire time they dated." Matt's rambling got a little incoherent at times and Landry and Riggins couldn't follow him completely.

"She watched you play? What does that mean?"

"I don't know!" Matt shouted before Landry could finish the question. Matt was up and pacing now. "She was watching me play and he would watch with her and so she must still like me, but she didn't tell me about him and he didn't know who I was and I don't know what the hell that means. Then we were arguing and I left and Coach and Mrs. Coach Tami must hate me." Matt paused long enough for a swig, as Riggins and Landry tried to follow the story. "T-then she was mad at me because I gave her sissster a book and called her dad Tami. And I am just a coach, like we weren't in love and I wasn't her first." As Matt took a longer swig of the liquor, Riggins jumped in.

"What the hell, Seven? I didn't catch most of that. You and Julie fought?"

"No. Me and that guy. He was talking about how great they were togeth-"

"Okay," Landry interrupted before he could start again. "So we drink."

They continued to drink while Matt occasionally retold the story of the night, making less and less sense as he continued. It was close to three am when another car pulled in and the driver quickly made himself know.

"Damn, Matty, you look like hell! Mrs. Braxton too much for you to handle? Cause the Smash is in town!"

"He called her Honey," was Matt's only reply as he lay back on the bench and groaned. Smash turned to the other two looking for answers.

"Julie's in town," Landry supplied.

"And she brought her boyfriend," Riggins finished.

Smash reached into his pocket and handed Matt two airplane bottles of Skyy. "You need this more than me."

Not long after Smash arrived the separated, Smash got Matt back to his apartment with a little coaxing and a lot of muscle. Matt quickly passed out. Smash didn't envy him. He had a long day ahead of him with the pep rally and game. He knows Matt doesn't like the spotlight.

Matt woke the next day with a groan. His body felt heavy and his stomach felt like he had just been tackled by a 300 pound lineman and he wasn't wearing pads. He stumbled to the bathroom and emptied what little remained. Today was going to be a long day. He took some Tylenol and started the shower. He seemed to be going in slow motion as he worked through his morning routine. He looked at the clock and realized he was already running late.

When Matt arrived at the bbq being held in all current and former Panthers' honor he realized the fact that the day's activities were all scheduled outdoors was to his great disadvantage. When Riggins came up behind him and patted him on the back a little rough and said hello a little too loud, he asked how he was so cheery. Riggins reply was that he had far more years of practice and far fewer drinks. Matt wanted to crawl back to his bed. April had rejoined them with food and Landry and Tyra in tow. Smash pulled himself away from everyone else long enough to join them.

They were in the middle of a conversation as Matt froze. They all turned to look as they saw Coach Taylor, his wife holding Gracie, and Julie standing near the stage talking to Buddy. When Buddy walked away to talk to the Mayor they got their first view of Jeff.

"He doesn't even like football. You have nothing to worry about."

"Thanks, Riggs, I guess."

"I'm sorry, Matt, but I really wanna go say hi."

"It's fine Tyra. You all should."

"You could come with us. It might be less awkward."

"I doubt it."

"Well you can't avoid them all day." With that the whole group made their way to the join the Taylors. And Jeff. Matt wasn't felt as though he was gonna lose his lunch but wasn't sure if it was the hang over or the fact he had to face _her_ again.

"Matt!" Gracie had climbed down and run toward him at full speed. She grabbed his hand and was talking faster than he could keep up as she dragged him toward her family. "Daddy, look! I found Matt."

"Hey, Matt, glad you could join us," Taylor said. Matt was hoping they weren't able to smell the alcohol coming out of his pores.

"Hey, Coach, Tami. I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have been so rude to you. Thanks for having me over." Julie had been catching up with Tyra but she noticed he didn't apologize for the argument itself. She also saw the way her three former classmates were sizing up Jeff.

"It's alright, son. You ready for tonight's game?"

"Yes, sir." Matt excused himself from the group as quickly as he could while the others caught up.

The speeches were made and the whole town was pumped. Except for Matt, who was still reeling from the thought of Julie with someone else. Coach had pulled him aside at one point and apologized for him being put in that situation. He said they didn't know she was coming, let alone seeing someone.

The Panther won the game that night and smashed their opponents. They were in the playoffs and there was a lot of celebration to be done. Matt wasn't up for any of it. Things were made worse when he was headed to the parking lot and saw Jeff kiss Julie and climb into his car and pull off. Matt decided to just go home and go to bed. He thought about drinking again but couldn't stomach the though.

When he got home Matt couldn't sleep, so he pulled out the box of stuff Ashley had been going through the day they broke up. He looked old pictures of him and Julie in happier times. He looked through ticket stubs from movies and concerts they had gone to together, including one from a music festival in Austin. He found a mix cd that she left in his car by accident. The title read, "Tunes for My Girl Love Matt". He put it in the player as he continued to go through their history. He then pulled out a little black velvet box and opened it. He twirled the ring in his fingers as he watched the light bounce of the diamond. When he felt water splash on the back of his hand he looked up before he realized it came from him. He put the ring on top of their picture in the yearbook. His hopes of a future were clearly smashed to pieces.

Matt woke with a start and took a second to realize he was on his couch. He couldn't remember falling asleep. He looked at the clock and noticed he couldn't have been out for more than an hour. The cd was still playing in the back ground. He heard a loud knock and realized that is probably what woke him. He made his way to the door unsure of who would be coming by so late. Unless it was Riggins or Smash pulling him out to party. Matt swung the door open with a sigh.

"I'm not going out, so just—Julie." Matt froze.

"Hey."


End file.
